The Heart of Stone

I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. Ezekiel 36:26

A heart of stone? Me? No way, not me I like everyone. 

Eventually I found out, that yes me! I had to find out through certain seasons and trials in my life, that I, yes me, was suffering from a horrible heart problem. The problem? A calloused and hardened heart. What did it mean to even have a calloused heart? How was my heart hardened? and what caused it to be hardened? (Biblically speaking of course)

The Webster Dictionary defines, Calloused  as being hardened and thickened vb :  2a :  feeling no emotion b :  feeling or showing no sympathy for others :  hard-hearted a callous indifference to suffering.

So lets back track for a minute. Let’s go back to a season in my life in where it took complete surrender for God to expose to me what was causing my heart to hardened. A couple of years ago when I lost my job, I had to also sell my home and move in with relatives. Unable to purchase a home right away and having to place all of our belongings in a storage brought upon me a lot of emotional stress. All doors were closed, and what I mean is, God closed certain doors in my life until He said it was time to open them. So what doors closed? I couldn’t  find a job, and buying a new home was out of the question due to other issues that were going on at the same time.

 Have you ever faced those moments in where everything just seems to be piling up on you and nothing is working out in your favor? Yeah, that was my situation and not a pleasant one at that. I was entering into a battle I was not equipped for due to the heart of stone I had.

Looking back, I now realize why things happened the way they did. I was faced with a situation in where I had to learn to surrender to God in order for Him to open the doors for me and my family to have our own home again. We had entered into a season in where God was going to expose my heart to me through complete submission. During this season in my life I had to learn to lean on God and wait on Him, but that process was not easy. When it came to me surrendering I did not want to give God the keys to my heart, I only wanted Him to enter into certain areas of my heart and every where else was off limits. I allowed shame and guilt keep God from unlocking the wounds of my heart. 

I had to learn that having a relationship with God meant that I had to allow Him to search my heart and reveal to me the hidden hurts, pain, and sins that were buried deep down in my soul. The enemy is very sneaky, he likes to hide behind our wounds so that we don’t recognize that he is the one keeping us in bondage. I had started to suffer from panic attacks during the season of losing my job and home. If you have ever had panic attacks you know that they are very scary. All of sudden you feel this horrible fear come over as your heart starts to pound out of your chest a mile a minute, before you know it you have these frightening thoughts come over you, am I dying? The fear of death all of sudden overwhelms you and you freeze not really knowing whats going on with you. After 3 long minutes of nothing but fear gripping your entire body, your heart rate slows down and you finally move away from the spot in where you were crippled. There were nights in where I would feel fear enter my room as I would wake up. I was suffering from anxiety and fear for many years and now facing the financial burden and having no home added to my anxiety and fed my fears.

I couldn’t understand what was going on with me, but as I drew closer to God in prayer, He was able to show me exactly what was going on. One night I had a dream, in this dream I was in a bedroom sitting on a bed, the room was dark and for some reason there was wind blowing some curtains around, on the bed I see something strange crawling underneath the bed covers. As I lift the covers to see what was moving under the sheets I see a dark figure with its eyes glowing staring at me. Finally, I woke up and immediately prayed. As I prayed and looked for the interpretation of the dream the Holy Spirit revealed to me that the enemy was hiding and covering himself in my pain. That would explain why I saw the evil spirit crawling under the sheet. The enemy was using fear and anxiety to distract me from allowing God to show me the issues that were keeping my heart hardened. What was revealed to me was that I carried unforgiveness in my heart towards certain people in my life that had hurt and wounded me. When you carry unforgiveness towards people who have hurt you in the past you give the enemy legal rights to torment you and you hinder yourself from receiving Gods blessings and forgiveness for your life.

I had a heart of stone towards the people that judged me, criticized me, and betrayed me, and it was time for me to heal and let that pain go. As God continued to show me the persons I had to forgive and my way of thinking towards them had to change as well. I couldn’t continue to hold on any longer to what was done to me or what was said about me. I had to surrender those individuals to God in prayer and just release them. I cried out and asked God to help me forgive they way He only knew how. My heart was hard towards these individuals, I had no feelings towards them and I just wanted to see them pay for the way they treated me. The moment I was finally able to let go and forgive, the panic attacks stopped. 

““And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses.” Mark‬ ‭11:25‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

I had to forgive in order for God to give me a right standing spirit with Him and be renewed and healed. Letting go of unforgiveness meant I had to start praying for them and respond with love rather than a cold and selfish attitude. I had to seek peace and operate in a heart of flesh. A heart of flesh meant I had to look at those that hurt me they way Jesus looks at them, which was the same exact way He sees me, with unconditional love. To treat people right even when they still want to judge me and criticize me. It takes total surrender to God to allow Him to not only heal you but to also help you and teach you how to forgive and bless others. 

Do you have areas in your heart that are starting to hardened because of something or someone who has wounded you? If so, give it to God, ask Him to search your heart and show you any hard spots that are trying to take root in your heart. God is faithful in exposing the conditions of your heart. Forgive and free yourself today of the pain and torment that unforgiveness brings. Your freedom is more important than the pain you carry done by others.