Brenda, Author at Your Ashes for His Beauty

Let God be the Gardner

Brenda — Sun, 07 Jul 2019 22:04:00 +0000

“But He answered and said, “Every plant which My heavenly Father has not planted will be uprooted.”‭‭Matthew‬ ‭15:13‬ ‭NKJV

Can you believe that we are already half way through the year? It feels as if this year has just been flying by. The days are just going by so fast. Before you know it summer will soon be over and the fall weather will be among us. (I actually love the fall).

So before the summer arrived, I noticed that a few plants that I had planted last year began to grow beautifully. But, there was one problem! The weeds also started growing. My flowers were covered with weeds.

I know nothing about gardening, I do know how to throw seeds in the ground and water them, but to actually keep up with the gardening such as uprooting weeds and keeping up with the garden has not been an easy task for me. The weeds had invaded my beautiful flowers.

A couple of months ago, I was led by the Holy Spirit to revisit all my journals. Journals that I have dating all the way back to 2010. I have been journaling for 7 years now and I love to journal my journey with God. In one of my journal entries from 2011, I had a bible verse that I had written down that just grabbed my attention.

“But He answered and said, “Every plant which My heavenly Father has not planted will be uprooted.”‭‭ Matthew‬ ‭15:13‬ ‭NKJV

As I read the Bible verse in my journal it just drew me in and I knew God was getting ready to show me something in His word. When you visit the book of Matthew chapter 15, Jesus spoke the above bible verse to the disciples when they approached Him regarding what He spoke when He addressed the crowd that was surrounding Him. He was speaking in regards to the purity of the peoples hearts. Matthew chapter 15 is a great chapter that helps us understand the condition of ourselves from the inside, (inside our hearts) and how it effects what comes out of our mouths and how it effects our way of thinking and behaviors.

In my own personal journey with God, God has been doing a lot of uprooting and planting in my own life. What God was showing me with Matthew 15:13, was that certain ways of thinking and behaving had to be uprooted by God himself in my life. God was showing me that I am His garden and any weed or plant that is not or was not planted by Him he was going to uproot it and remove it so that all that is left is the plants that only God planted. God wants us flourishing from the inside out, as you know weeds are very destructive and unattractive, and if not taken care of it will destroy and ruin any other plants near them to the point that it will just take over and be very difficult to get rid of.

So what are the plants that God was uprooting in me?

Generational Curses, wrong and negative thinking, rejection, selfishness, fear, insecurities, self-image issues (how I viewed myself),unbelief, and anger. These are just some of the weeds planted in my life by the enemy. The enemy has been doing his own gardening by planting his own seeds of destruction in our lives. Since we were young he has been busy planting seeds of rejection, fear, doubt, and unbelief to keep us from the purpose and destiny that God has planted in us from the beginning of time. Each season of my life in where I have faced certain trials has been about God uprooting the weeds that were planted by the enemy.

God loves us so much that once we surrender our hearts and make the commitment to allow Him to change us He is faithful in making sure that He roots out anything that is destroying us. Like a gardener, God grabs his tools, and He begins to work on us. In order for the new me to flourish and grow beautifully, God needed to remove all the weeds of fear, anger, and rejection from me so that God could plant with His word, His love, and the help of the Holy Spirit new seeds of Joy, courage, self worth, value, and allow a new plant of my new identity in Christ to grow.

(I will say that the uprooting process is not an easy process.) So one day I decided to take some time out to root out all those ugly long weeds, because every time I got home it just looked so unattractive to see my beautiful nice flowers bombarded by dozens of weeds. I went outside and began to uproot the weeds. Can I just say, WOW! Those weeds were so deeply rooted, that I almost fell back on the ground while trying to pull the weed out. I uprooted a few before I finally gave up and ran back in the house. The next morning, my arms were sore! I’m thinking to myself, geez those weeds were hard to uproot.

Once God begins to show you certain destructive ways about yourself, it becomes very hard to change. We develop certain destructive behaviors and grow up with them for so many years until finally there comes a point in where we are faced with something that will cause us to change. Whether it be you becoming a wife, or a mother, or you begin a new career. Becoming a wife really exposes certain areas in where you can’t do what you use to do before you were married. Even when you become a mom, certain ways about yourself must change so that you can raise your child the right way. In our own marriages God has to uproot certain weeds out as well, even in our parenting also. (I will share more on this in more posts to come).

One destructive way about myself was that God had to help me with my way of thinking. We develop certain destructive ways of thinking when we allow the world to invade our thoughts, and not the word of God, we begin to have a worldly mindset filled with unbelief, and lies about ourselves and about what Gods word says. I at some point believed that I wasn’t good enough, that no matter how nice I was to people, I just wasn’t accepted no matter what I did right; I thought that if I pleased people, people would love me and accept me. It took a while for God to uproot that lie from the enemy, out! God had to first expose the root by showing me through prayer, reading his word, and fasting, that I don’t need people to approve of me. God began planting seeds of love and acceptance in me so that as I seek God more, those seeds will grow into beautiful plants of love and self value, knowing that I am loved by my heavenly father is all I need to be accepted. Not only does our ways of thinking affect us, but it also affects those around us. We are always sharing our thoughts with others. We influence people around us everyday with our good ways and not so good ways.

That is why God has to root out all negative ways of thinking and behaving in us, that we can influence people in the right ways of God, so that they can see Jesus in us and question, what is that hope and joy that you carry?

God is working in me, each day, in each trial, and in each season of my life, God is uprooting and planting in me everyday. We are His beautiful gardens, and all he wants is our obedience, time, commitment, and trust in Him so that He can do the work in us, so that in return we can honor Him with our pure hearts.

The weeds in our life, defile our hearts and God is a healer of the heart. Has God uprooted anything in your own life that has been destructive to you or others? Do you feel as if God is tugging at your heart to help you change certain ways about you? If so, surrender in prayer and make a commitment to change those destructive ways so that you can live your new life in Christ and be free. Let God be the gardener in your life, He knows exactly how to take care of it and make it flourish.

““I am the true grapevine, and my Father is the gardener.”
‭‭John‬ ‭15:1‬ ‭NLT‬‬

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What’s in the Bag

Brenda — Thu, 14 Feb 2019 22:40:00 +0000

Ever find yourself carrying so much stuff in your purse that your shoulders start to hurt from all the weight of the purse? If your like me you find yourself walking around with unnecessary stuff in our handbags. In my purse you will find all sorts of stuff that at some point start to make the purse heavier and heavier. In my purse to give you an idea, I have 3 different lotions, 5 chap sticks (cause one is not enough) expired makeup, about 10 pens, and an endless amount of receipts and much more. No matter how many times you try to organize and keep your purse neat it just goes back to clutter. I find myself rushing through life everyday that it just becomes easy to stuff my purse when I’m on the go go go. What if I told you that sometimes life’s issues start to weigh us down like our purses do when they get to full of unnecessary clutter.

One day in the store, as I was getting ready to go checkout I approach the cashier unprepared when she gives me the total of my purchase. I reach in my purse to look for my debit card and it’s not in my wallet which only means it somewhere lost in the rubble of stuff inside my purse. I start to dig, as the line behind me starts to get long. I’m digging and digging, all I find is receipts, pens, and more receipts. I’m frantically searching for my debit card pulling out everything but my card. Finally! I found my card in the little secret pocket of my purse, by than there is a mob of people in line rolling their eyes and tapping their feet. I think to myself, “Remember to clean out your purse!” In some crazy way life can sometimes be like our purses when we start carrying too much.

As I went home to clean and organize my purse, I couldn’t help but to think that I too was carrying more on my shoulders than just a heavy purse. I was facing a trial that was becoming too much for me to carry. The situation I was facing was allowing me to carry all the wrong things rather than carrying all the right things.

I started carrying doubt, fear, hopelessness, unbelief, worry, and anxiety.

What happens when we start carrying the wrong things in our lives? It weighs us down and it becomes too heavy to carry.

I started to doubt that God would deliver me from this current trial, fearing the outcomes, not having enough faith in my hopeless situation, worrying about what people would think about me, and feeling anxious of all the pain I was facing in my current situation. I felt so heavy. The word says that we are to surrender our heavy burdens unto Jesus, the one who died on the cross to carry them. Jesus carried the weight of our sin so that we wouldn’t have to carry them. God’s word says, ²⁸Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. ²⁹Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls.³⁰For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.” Matthew 11:28-30 NLT

We also face moments in where we take on so much, not only do we start carrying our own issues but we tend to carry the issues of those around us. Like our family members, or close friends. In the book of Exodus chapter 18, you will read about Moses, as we know Moses was chosen by God to lead the Israelite’s out of Egypt. Moses one day receives wise council from his father in law Jethro. Jethro had observed how all the Israelite’s would go to Moses to complain and bring all their issues to him so that Moses would give them instructions on what to do and what to decree from God’s word.

¹⁸“You’re going to wear yourself out—and the people, too. This job is too heavy a burden for you to handle all by yourself. Exodus 18:18 NLT

What Moses failed to do was take all those issues on to the Lord, instead he took it upon himself only causing him to carry the weight of all the issues he was hearing. Jethro tells Moses, ¹⁸“You’re going to wear yourself out—and the people, too. This job is too heavy a burden for you to handle all by yourself. Exodus 18:18 NLT. Jethro advises Moses, that rather than dealing with the issues all alone, that he needs to give all the disputes to God and to appoint leaders that he can trust to help with the matters of the people rather than just him.

How many of us start to take on everyone’s disputes, complaints, and problems including our own and think that we can fix everything???

Let me just tell you, you will wear yourself out! The best thing that you can do in any situation is going to GOD first. Seek God’s counsel before you take on burdens that were not meant for you to carry. God calls us to be intercessor, prayer warriors, and yes there will be times when you feel a burden in your spirit for someone or a situation. That is God calling you to pray for someone and you keep praying until the burden lifts for that person or situation. We must discern and seek wisdom on what we can carry and what we shouldn’t.

We have to stop carrying all the wrong things. Don’t let fear, worry, anxiety, doubt, and hopelessness wear you down. Let the God of the impossible fill you with hope, joy, strength, courage, faith, and love. Give it to Him, go to the one that can fix any situation over your life, your families or friends. Don’t wear yourself out doing what only God can do. What are you carrying today? Whatever it is bring it to God, seek His direction and wisdom and He will lead you. Let him take the weights off. Be blessed

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While I’m Waiting (A Story of Infertility Loss)

Brenda — Fri, 15 Jun 2018 21:58:00 +0000

“~‘For I know the plans and thoughts that I have for you,’ says the LORD, ‘plans for peace and well-being and not for disaster to give you a future and a hope.” ‭‭Jeremiah ‭29:11‬ ‭AMP

My name is Melly Martinez, a daughter of God and Pastor of the Resurrection Center in Springfield, Mass. My story begins when I met my husband 16 years ago, in who I have had the pleasure of being married to for 14 years and together we share a beautiful 15 year old daughter. I met my husband at the young age of 16, and within a couple of months of dating I got pregnant. Here I am, a young girl who has run away from home and now living with my boyfriend who I’ve only known for 5 months and now pregnant and terrified.

I came from a strict Pentecostal family who raised me in the ways of the Lord. I’ve always had a strong foundation in God and grew up experiencing God speak to his people in the church through prophecy. So I can honestly say that when God spoke I would always believe in his words, or that the person speaking was doing so under God’s anointing. As a rebellious teen I decided that I wanted to do things my way and boy did I have to learn some hard lessons. My boyfriend and I fought all the time and he became verbally and physically abusive throughout my whole pregnancy and was extremely jealous. (I forgot to mention that I met him at a church that my aunt had invited me too.) It definitely wasn’t love at first sight it was more like Love at Second Sight.
My Daughter Is Born

After giving birth to our daughter I thought that life would get better, but it didn’t. The fighting and abuse both physically and verbally continued. I contemplated taking my life on several occasions but thinking about leaving my daughter and parents behind wouldn’t allow me to go through with it. You see when the enemy knows who you are in Christ he will try to take you out before you can realize your God-given purpose and destiny.

Jeremiah 29:11 for I know the plans declare the Lord…….

At some point during our living together I came to place in where I just couldn’t take the abuse anymore. I wanted out of the relationship and I was ready to leave. I just couldn’t see myself staying in the relationship any longer and made it aware to my boyfriend that I wanted to leave. In the time I started to think about leaving, my boyfriend began to visit church in where he was invited by a friend to attend. Little by little I started to see changes in my boyfriend as he continued to visit the church. Than one day out of no where he asked me to marry him. Shocked! I accepted his proposal and because God had a mighty plan for my life I decided to accept my boyfriends marriage proposal and we got married and decided to seek God’s help together to help us in our marriage. It wasn’t easy but together we started attending a local church and eventually became leaders at that church. We served as youth mentors. Life was getting much brighter and God was healing our marriage.

Broken

As we continued to heal from all the brokenness in our marriage, we decided that it was the perfect time to have another child. We started trying and with no success the first year and the second year I started to question God as to why I wasn’t getting pregnant. I couldn’t understand why it wasn’t happening for us and I began crying out to Abba Father. The situation began to remind me of Hannah from the book of 1 Samuel chapter 1, and how she would cry out to the father for a child. I started to become angry and the enemy began to put thoughts in my mind against God and His love towards me.

After some time had passed and still struggling to conceive. I received a prophetic word that I would give birth to a son. Hallelujah! I shouted and rejoiced because I was finally hearing from God in response to what I wanted. I thought, yes! I’m finally gonna have my baby. Years continue to come and go and nothing was happening. My husband would receive prophetic words concerning our child but nothing was happening in my womb. In 2004, was the year we started trying to convince again. Although I was still not pregnant, my relationship with God and the calling He had over my life and my husbands life was being birthed, and our ministry was growing. Through the years of bareness all I can do was pray and trust God no matter what wasn’t happening.

It was now 2012, and after receiving prophetic word, after prophetic word, we held on to His word while God was positioning us as pastors over our ministry in which is now called, The Resurrection Center, in Springfield, Massachusetts. We still were not seeing the promise fulfilled of getting pregnant. Our marriage and lives became what God’s plans and purpose was for us and finally one day I became pregnant, yay!! We were on cloud 9 and we praised God and celebrated. However, our celebration was short lived as I started bleeding and eventually miscarried our much awaited child. I cried and couldn’t understand why this was happening, especially after God has spoken to us time and time again. We were even pastoring His people. I remember kneeling down in my room all alone just me and Jesus and I said, “Lord!, I chose you and this too shall pass.” After the first miscarriage, 2 years had passed until my 30th birthday I find out I was pregnant again. Wow God, what a gift I thought. Our joy was shortly lived once again as I started to bleed and miscarried my second child. Only this time my body was contracting for longer than usual and I developed a very painful infection. The pain was so bad that I couldn’t walk for about a week. I found myself trying to figure out what I was doing wrong, why was this happening again? Was I not praying enough? Was God mad at me for some reason? The enemy was attacking my mind day in and day out. I would ask God, “What did I do wrong?” My husband was an amazing support and praying partner. I started to become ashamed because I couldn’t keep our pregnancies and felt like he deserved a woman who could give him the son that God has prophesied on giving him.

Battling The Lies

At this point the enemy was tormenting me I couldn’t sleep, all I could hear was” you will never have another child, get over it.” I cried and prayed and rebuked the devil.

James 4:7 says, “So humble yourselves before God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.” I would pray and tell God again, “Jesus I chose you, and this too shall pass.” After 3 months from the second miscarriage, guess what? I found out we were expecting. I was hopeful and again I miscarried. Only I didn’t react this time, I said, “Lord, it’s in your hands.” If you did it for Rachel, if you did it for Sarah, if you did it for Elizabeth, if you did it for Hannah, if you did it for Leah, and if you did it for Rebekah then you are the God that is able to do it for me and for all the women who are waiting on your promises for a child. I am currently still waiting and believing in God for what He promised me. You see in my journey of holding onto my promise for having a son, I lost myself, I lost my identity in who I was in Christ, because I allowed the promise to become bigger than God. I couldn’t see my worth in how God saw me because I focused so much on how I failed to hold on to a baby in my womb. Through this journey of waiting and believing in God, God had to show me how loved and worthy I am. I had to surrender the pain of my bareness to Him so that He can heal me of the shame and guilt I carried inside for so long. I want all the woman out there who are struggling today with infertility or who have had miscarriages to please don’t give up! Don’t give up on your God-given promise, don’t give up hope and please continue to trust that God is more than able to do exceedingly abundantly above all we could ever ask or think of. Remember God’s timing and season are perfect. Declare this promise with me…..

There will be no miscarriages or infertility in your land, and I will give you long, full lives. Exodus 23:26

God will do just what He says He will do, lets continue to hope and believe together that what God has spoken he will fulfill. Although, I am still waiting on his promise to give me a son, I am at a place in my life right now, in where I am filled with peace, I am loved, and I am valued. I now understand that God loves me so much and that no matter how long I’ve waited I will see Him fulfill His promises when the timing is right. Healing for me has been a day to day process, I always think about my 3 babies that I know I will one day get to meet in Heaven. Until than, I can trust that God has them and will reunite us one day. I praise God for His unfailing love and faithfulness in my life.

Pray this prayer with me

Father in the name of Jesus I declare that my body aligns with your word in Genesis chapter 1 verse 28 that says, “I shall be fruitful and multiple.” I rebuke and cancel every Spirit of infirmity and baroness out of my body in the name of Jesus I will see my promises and I will rejoice and give you the glory and honor forever and forever and people will know that you are a God who is more than able. No devil in hell can stop your word from coming to pass. Womb I command you to conceive in the name of Jesus, my womb is nurturing my child and I will give birth to a healthy baby in Jesus Christ name AMEN.

Pastor Jose & Melly Martinez of Springfield, Massachusetts are the Pastors of the Resurrection Center. Pastor Martinez has the passion that God has given him to see families and individuals restored and come into their divine calling. He has been involved in ministry over 11 years serving as youth Pastor the last 6 years and as a chaplain of United Chaplain’s International Ministry. Pastor Martinez has completed many leadership and Pastoral courses.

Pastor Melly Martinez was born and raised in Springfield, Massachusetts. She has been serving God for most of her life. Giving her many experiences in the ministry. Pastor Melly served in Youth ministry and Worship ministry for 6 years. As a wife, mother and Pastor, she is ready to serve today’s generation for a better tomorrow.

If you wish to reach out to Pastor Melly for prayer. Please visit their church or website. See link below for more information on how to reach out.

http://resurrectionspringfield.org/about-us/our-pastors/

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Embracing Change (A Metamorphosis Journey)

Brenda — Mon, 01 Jan 2018 22:50:00 +0000

“Therefore if anyone is in Christ [that is, grafted in, joined to Him by faith in Him as Savior], he is a new creature [reborn and renewed by the Holy Spirit]; the old things [the previous moral and spiritual condition] have passed away. Behold, new things have come [because spiritual awakening brings a new life].”
‭‭2 CORINTHIANS‬ ‭5:17‬ ‭AMP‬‬

What is actually a Metamorphosis?

Metamorphosis has several definitions, such as:

1- any complete change in appearance, character, circumstances, etc.

2- a form resulting from any such change.

And can also be defined as the transformation of a caterpillar to a beautiful butterfly.

A couple months ago I found a short article about Butterflies. After seeing a butterfly 3 times in one day I felt it impressed in my heart to just research butterflies. What I learned about butterflies was a beautiful but interesting description of what happens when a caterpillar enters its cocoon so that it can than emerge as the beautiful butterfly that it becomes. I read that the entire caterpillar breaks down inside the cocoon almost into like a soupy liquid form, so pretty much the entire caterpillar breaks down so that it can slowly rebuild itself back up. What I found interesting was that the heart also is broken down as part of the process.

As I read what happens inside the cocoon I couldn’t help but to relate. Even though I’m not turning into a soupy like mixture but the journey that I have been in on lately sure feels like I’m inside some cocoon. As I continue to get to know God more I realize that personal transformation sounds almost like the same process of the caterpillar. The changes that God helps us go through is not an easy process. Its very hard to embrace change when

#1. You don’t realize or know what areas need to change,

#2 When you don’t like change.

#3 When you don’t see the need to change. (For me it was known as Pride.) I thought,” Me change? For what? I’m perfectly fine.”

With God there is no staying the same, He makes all things new and I had to embrace change when everything I thought that was for me was slowly stripped away. A good paying job, your home, your family and marriage issues start surfacing and even your health starts acting up. For me, seeing my life get chaotic and frustrating pushed me towards God more. I didn’t know what to do, I was so disappointed at the things I was facing. Life was no longer going the way I expected it would go and I saw nothing wrong in the way I was living my life. Complacent! The truth is, you won’t change when you are comfortable.

I quickly learned that God has so much more in store for me and you than what we can even think or imagine. I believed the lie that this is it. Work, go home, cook, watch t.v, tend to the family and go to bed. That’s it! Life is good. Right? Well, not really. Don’t get me wrong I am in no way judging anyone who lives similar to this routine. Just know that there is more to life. A happy and joy filled life. I was missing out and God knew I was. Sometimes God allows us to be stripped of certain things or face certain trials because inside of each and everyone of us is something new. Something new that has been planted in us from the moment we’re formed in our mothers womb. In order to understand the purpose and the new we carry. We must seek Him for the answers and the revelation of what it is.

I didn’t know what that “new’ thing was? I was stuck on being complacent, living my life each day thinking that this it and there was no more to life than what I already had. In moments of loneliness and disappointment God began a work in me. He has begun to break down the old me and He is now rebuilding the new me. The process is not a quick and easy one. It becomes a journey of embracing change by letting go of the old mindsets, the false belief systems, and surrendering our broken hearts to embrace healed hearts. We have to learn to emerge from our cocoons (four walls) and embrace the beauty that comes from setting ourselves free from just living life in the same routine.

What will change look like? It can look like many things, such as: Writing a book, going back to school, starting a ministry, starting a business, going on a missions trip, or just taking care of you!

For me change was letting go of what I can’t control and giving God the control to do what only He can do. God restores, rebuilds, heals, transforms, and makes impossible things possible.

I pray that today, you will ask God this one simple question? Father, search my heart and show me what changes I need to embrace?

You might be surprised at what He will do. Take the limitations off and emerge has the beautiful butterfly does when she is set free.

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